Finally the night has arrived. All the bitch fights, $800 weaves, shit on the floor and gallons upon gallons of cheap champagne have led to this moment. Foofy Foofy finally picked which woman would most likely leave him after the show aired.
The episode opened with Miss Michelle (New York's mother) refusing to leave her son alone with Foofy. I think I saw that bitch in the Grudge 2 this past weekend.
She immediately went to Foofy's room...
Continue reading "May the Best Lady Dude Win"
Buckwheat is that you? Miss Michelle has a strong stomach, because all that Boones Farms that she most likely drank earlier should be all over the floor.
Miss Michelle demanded that New York come home with her. Foofy didn't seem to care. He said it was up to New York.
Miss Michelle interrupted New York's nightly before bedtime ritual of taking off her fake tits and demanded she come home.
New York mumbled some words and kicked her mom's ass out.
Miss Michelle went back to Foofy's room and told him that he was to not lay a hand on her. What she meant was, please don't touch her below the waist, because her secret will shame our family name.
While Miss Michelle was cursing out Foofy, New York appeared in the hallway and proceeded to do some weird kind of dance. I think she was trying to woo her mother away from Foofy. I'm really not sure. I was really confused at this point at the sight of New York doing a sexy dance for her mother.
Miss Michelle was kicked out and all was well in the World. Foofy and his favorite trannies headed off to Belize.
Delishis had the first date and yea it was boring. I didn't really like this bitch before, but New York's craziness drove me to her corner.
While Delishis was out on her date, New York had a "breakdown" and by "breakdown" I mean she took this opportunity to give the performance of a lifetime just in case the casting directors of America's Most Wanted needed someone to play a Brazilian tranny hooker in an episode.
She told us, "This is bullshit. I'm out of control. My emotions are running wild. I want to crash the date."
What she meant was "The hormones make my emotions run wild."
Tranny jokes never get old, I don't care what you cunts say!
WARNING - Even a little slip of New York's thong is enough to make a baby go back into the womb.
New York tried desperately to see if she could see Delishis and Foofy.
This is what she missed...
That looks like two pigs in fishnet battling it out in a mud pool. I can only imagine the kind of doody bubbles that are produced from that ass.
After their nauseating makeout session, Delishis and Foofy went to dinner and well...you can fast forward this part...I did.
After dinner, Delishis accepted Foofy's invitation to go back to his suite. Delishis had a wardrobe malfunction and Foofy had to help her get out of the dress.
I would've used this opportunity to tell Foofy that unfortunately the dress has been permanently attached to me and that it will never come off. Never.
Bitch wasn't that smart, because Foofy went to the kitchen to get a knife.
I think his first instinct was to cut off her dick, but he settled for just setting her dress free.
Don't these whores know that dresses that cheap aren't meant to come off easily. They are made for your date to rip them off of you when you're about to get raped.
When Delishis returned the next morning, New York invited her to breakfast.
In this scene New York talked like she was in a fucking Merchant Ivory film. Don't front bitch, we know you're ghetto.
All I can say is that the producer and/or screenwriter that created this character deserves a fucking Emmy. Actually give their asses an Oscar.
This bitch has to be a robot. A skanky, tranny robot.
New York uses this breakfast to destroy Delishis.
"Right now I'm screwing with Delishis. I am so powerful! My mind...oh..it amazes me sometimes! I should have an octane level! I almost feel bad for playing her, but I don't."
What the fuck! Is the skankness from her weave rotting her brains? How the hell is she controlling Delishis. Delishis still hates her ass and is only outside so she could eat ten pieces of bacon. I mean, that ass doesn't that juicy on its own.
New York accuses Delishis of being a money grubber. Delishis tells New York that it's not about the money, because her baby daddy has money upon money. Poor darling, money to her is one-third ownership in a KFC franchise and a 97' Lexus. That's the truth.
This she-man is not real!
They belong together.
Before leaving for her date, New York actually says something accurate.
"Delishis! I'm off, I left my razor on the sink. Maybe you want to shave your moustache with it."
For her date, New York was taken on a boat. We all know how this bitch feels about water.
Foofy has such a beautiful dog! Why didn't he bring it on the show more machine? That dog needs a bath though, it's coat looks like dried jizz.
It doesn't take long for New York the character to come out and she tells Foofy that she's going to make all the decisions in the relationship. She tells him that what she says go and she's going to plan their life together.
Is their acid in that Thunderbird cocktail?
When Foofy tells her that she's reminding him of her mother, New York takes off her clothes?
What the hell? I know those two bitches have something freaky going on. New York totally muff dives with her mom. They bump assholes.
Foofy does what he should've done along time ago and heads overboard.
He returns and New York goes on about how she's sorry and blah blah blah..
Jesus, I feel sorry for the editors. Just 10 minutes of her act makes me yearn for a nap and a cuddly stuffed animal.
New York sacrifices her life and goes into the water for Foofy. Is that weave waterproof?
Where's a shark when you need one?
I think all the weave glue is getting in her eyes.
At dinner, New York calms down and lays it on thick. She knows this is her moment to get Foofy's attention,
"I just want to take this opportunity to tell you that I love you dearly. I respect you and I honor you."
Foofy respond by eating his salad.
Honestly, I'm not going to miss watching his ass eat. Watching him eat is like watching a toddler take a dump and then spread it all over the wall and trust me I've seen that shit. Don't ask me why. It's a family secret.
Somewhere in Miami, Bea Arthur is missing a hat.
New York rejects Foofy's offer to stay the night in his suite, because she wants him to realize that their relationship isn't just about the sexual fireworks.
This is where I jump out the window.
Obviously she couldn't handle her asshole twitches, because she changed her mind and spent the night with Foofy.
Ok, remind me why the hell these women are fighting over that?! I've seen possums with a sexier bod.
The next morning, New York starts at Delishis again.
I feel you Delishis. All it takes is just one lunge with your knife and it will all be over.
You know she's thinking to herself, "I did not sign on for a role on fucking Passions."
Squish her head Delishis! Your hand is so big and her head is so small. Squish it!
When I uploaded all the Flavor of Love pics, this one came up. It's my dog, Elvie, and he strangely fits in with this post. He sent his tape in to Foofy, but was rejected.
I think he's still getting over that. Can't you see the sadness? He sleeps with a cardboard cutout of Foofy too, just like Delishis.
Foofy sends the boys dresses to wear at the final ceremony. Where the hell do they buy these dresses? Do they sell gowns at the supermarket?
I've seen paper napkins that look more expensive than this crap.
This is like a postcard beckoning wealthy, white men to enjoy the trannies of Thailand.
This one too.
Ok, so they both want this? I'd rather dress up as JonBenet and screw John Karr than deal with this wreck for one night
In the end...it's no surprise....
New York gets served for the second time. Foofy chooses Delishis, because he's sick of New York's drama? Well, that and the producers told him that they need her for The Flavorette.
New York flips out as usual. Here's some great quotes,
"Why the fuck did you bring me back?" "Why the fuck did you bring me back?" "Why the fuck did you bring me back?"
Yeah, that was basically it.
And then she mooned him. I see some nut.
Delishis was presented with every chicken head's best friend.
Gold teefs.
Look at her face, she's just figuring out what she's gotten herself into. She's also trying to figure out how she's going to suck that slimy dick with the gold teeth on. Do you think it shocks his dick? No, honestly?
New York sobs in the car on how she hates him and how she loves him and how she hates him.
I hope that car is taking her directly to the mental hospital.
And they lived happily ever after...
Well at least 10 minutes after this moment and then Delishis got a plane to Hollywood to try and land some kind of deal.
Don't worry, you haven't seen the last of New York. Word on the street is she's getting a little Vh1 show of her own that's already shooting.
And no, it's not called "House of Trannies"
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